Tuesday, June 21, 2011

DO YOU THINK MY HISTORY PROJECT BIOGRAPHY IS GOOD. GIVE IT A GRADE. MAKE SUGGESTIONS THANKS


DO YOU THINK MY HISTORY PROJECT BIOGRAPHY IS GOOD. GIVE IT A GRADE. MAKE SUGGESTIONS THANKS?
Jean – Jacques Rousseau was born to a middleclass family in Geneva Switzerland in the year 1712. He came from a family that had voting rights and his father Jean – Jacques Rousseau, a watchmaker was also a lover of music and education. Rousseau’s mother, Suzanne Bernard Rousseau, was the daughter of a preacher and died nine days after childbirth due to difficulties. Rousseau also had an older brother named Francois; the two brothers were both raised by their Father and a paternal aunt. At a young age his father got into legal trouble and to avoid imprisonment the family fled and they lived with Jean Jacques Rousseau’s’ maternal uncle after his father remarried. Rousseau uncle then sent him away to live with a Calvinist minister. With the minister he learned mathematics and picked up the elements of art. Rousseau who was deeply moved by religious services and for a time even dreamed of becoming a priest. After he was finished with school he had a few unsuccessful apprenticeships; first for a notary and then an engraver by whom he was treated very harshly. The practically orphaned Rousseau spent much of his spare time alone exploring his first love, nature, which he ran away from Geneva as a vagrant in 1728. His wanderings led him out of Geneva to Sardinia then France, where he met Madame de Warrens, a nobleman who helped bring Protestants to Catholicism, and for the next ten years she gave him an education, and much needed moral and financial support Finding himself mostly on his own besides the support of Madame de Warrens Rousseau he supported himself for a time as a secretary, servant, and tutor. He received a small inheritance from his mother at age twenty – five and with some of that he repaid De Warrens for her financial support of him. In 1743 1742 Rousseau moved to Paris were he wished to take on a career in music. He initially went to Paris to propose a new system of music to the Academy of Sciences; despite his efforts it was unsuccessful. He published musical theory and wrote for the opera, attracted the attentions of King Louis XV and court when he composed, Le Devin du Village (The Village Soothsayer). Rousseau was offered a pension from the King, but denied it in attempts to live a modest life, and after the success of his opera, he promptly gave up composing music. He also befriended and Therese le Vasseur, a pretty seamstress, who became his mistress and together they bore five children. In 1749, the Academy of Dijon held a contest that Rousseau won first prize in by answering the question “Has the progress of the sciences and arts contributed to the corruption or to the improvement of human conduct?"Rousseau felt that humanity was good at nature but corrupt by society. Although it is still widely believed that all of Rousseau's philosophy was based on his call for a return to nature, this view is an oversimplification, caused by the excessive importance attached to this first essay. His second major philosophical essay, Discourse on the Origin and Basis of Inequality among Men which stated that the advancement of science and art had not benefited mankind and that I took away individual liberties and gave governments more powerful. After its publication, Rousseau returned to Geneva, reverted to Calvinism and regained his official Geneva citizenship. In 1756 he moved to France , a year after the publication of the Second Discourse, Rousseau left Paris after Madame D’Epinay lent him a cottage, on her estate at Montmorency. His stay here lasted only a year because of repeated quarrels with Madame D’Epinay and her guest, Rousseau moved to housing near the country home of the Duke of Luxemburg at Montmorency. During the later years in his life was when he wrote the bulk of his renowned work including the novel, Julie or the New Heloise. Then in the year 1762 his most important and chief philosophical works: including The Social Contract; which showed his views on political philosophy, and one on education, Emile. The Paris government condemned both books mainly because of his views on religion forcing him to leave France. Rousseau then moved to Switzerland and started to work on his life stories, his Confessions. A year later, after coming across difficulties with Swiss government and then moved around and live in Berlin and Paris and ultimately moved to England to stay with David Hume. However, due to constant bicker with Hume, and his inability to learn English or make friends his stay in England lasted only a year, and in 1767 he returned to the southeast of France under a false name. In 1770 when he returned to Paris where he copied music for a living, it was during this time that he wrote what would be his final works Rousseau: Judge of Jean-Jacques and the Reveries of the Solitary Walker. His final years which were spent in deliberate withdrawal did not allow him to enjoy him fame. He died on July 3, 1778. this is 9th grade advanced history and my and suggestion just anything to help improve it so yes grammatical errors
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1 :
Great work. I graded many papers [as a teachers assistant] and what most of those reports were missing was alot of facts. I give this an A. Great work. Facts are correct. Great job!
2 :
Very nice; informative. Some grammatical errors or typos. Did you want our help in correcting those? Like I said, they might have been typos. Is this high school? If it is, then correct the errors and it's an A paper. This is an exceptional paper for a freshman in high school! You deserve an A+. Unless your sources inserted a hyphen b/t Jean and Jacques, drop the hyphen. Space between middle and class. Comma after Geneva. Jean Jacques R was a watchmaker and also a lover of music ... His mother, SBR ...and died nine days after giving birth to him. ...Francois. The two brothers were raised by their father and ... Comma after at a young age. Period after the family fled. They lived with Rousseau's maternal uncle after his father remarried. His uncle then sent him away to live with a Calvinist minister. With the minister, he learned mathematics and picked up the elements of art. Rousseau was deeply moved by religious services and for a time even dreamed of becoming a priest. ...exploring his first love, nature, which [caused?] him to run away from... His wanderings took him from Geneva to Sardinia... Madame de Warrens, an aristocrat, ...Finding himself mostly on his own, besides...Warrens, Rousseau [delete he] ...twenty-five 1742 or 1743? Period after opera. He attracted the attention... offered a pension from the king but denied it in the attempt to livea modest life. After the success... Delete the "and" after befriended. Period after contest. Rousseau won first prize by answering the question, Has the Progress of the Sciences and Arts Contributed to the Corruption or Improvement of Human Conduct? ...not benefited mankind and that they took away individual liberties and made govenments more powerful. In 1756, he moved to France. A year after...Rousseau left Paris to accept MdE's loan of a cottage on her estate at Montmorency. Period after D'Epinay. Delete and her guest unless you identify the guest. It was in his later years that he wrote the bulk of... Comma after year, comma after 1762. Delete including after works ...difficulties with the Swiss ...lived in Berlin Comma after make friends. Period after only a year. In 1767, he returned... In 1770, he returned to Paris where he copied music for a living. It was during...his final works. ...to enjoy his fame