Friday, October 7, 2011

can soemone help me proofread this

can soemone help me proofread this?
World War I, was an event mainly produced by imperialism, which is the ambition of power and property and nationalism, the respect for ones country, Patriotism. These sentiments were most felt in Europe where the social classes first started to reveal for a balanced social structure, since it was divided into high(aristocracy) and low classes. A supporter of these facts was Rosa Luxemburg, a German Marxist and revolutionary for the Social Democratic Party of this period. Luxemburg strongly defended in her pamphlet “The Junius,” the labor communities, encouraging them to fight for their rights and opportunities, to grow economically, and equally as the other classes. She wanted the proletarians to be treated decently and not as exploited “modern slave.” But, because of their traditional beliefs and partisanship of their country, unfortunately the working class did not collaborate for their own benefits. As a whole, she is against the WWI not only because of the causes but also of its effects, such as the endless physical and economic destruction of the territories affected as well. According to Luxemburg, the Bourgeoisie society went over its limits .It became the least confidential system, because their members were the first ones in giving false information to the public. Like in most dictatorship, the rulers tend to control media. They tend to censor books or change the given information that might testify against the government. Basically the bourgeoisie were making the lower classes blind of reality.
Homework Help - 5 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
1st sentence : run on.
2 :
World War I was an event mainly produced by nationalism, which is the ambition of power and belief in the greatness of one's country and unquestioned patriotism. These sentiments were most felt in western Europe where the social classes first started to call for a balanced social structure, since it was divided into high(aristocracy) and low classes. A supporter of these facts was Rosa Luxemburg, a German Marxist and revolutionary for the Social Democratic Party of this period. her pamphlet “The Junius,” Luxemburg strongly defended the labor communities, encouraging them to fight for their rights and opportunities, to grow economically, and equally as the other classes. She wanted the proletarians to be treated decently and not as exploited “modern slaves.” But because of their traditional beliefs and partisanship of their country, the working class, unfortunately, did not collaborate for their own benefits. As a whole, therfore, Luxemborg was against the war not only because of the causes but also of its effects, such as the endless physical and economic destruction of the territories affected. According to Luxemburg, the Bourgeoisie society went over its limits .It became the least confidential system because their members were the first ones in giving false information to the public. Like in most dictatorships, the rulers of the Axis powers tend to control media. They tended to censor books or change the given information that might be used against the government. Basically the bourgeoisie were making the lower classes blind of reality. There. I don't agree with your premise about the causes of WWI. It was more about nationalism, national rivarlies and treaty obligations than imperialism. Also the bourgeoisie had much to lose in the war as well.
3 :
I found at list six mistakes and I didn't even read it that carefully.
4 :
riverotter1968's revision is pretty good. I'd modify it the last paragraph a bit, as follows: Before: Like in most dictatorships, the rulers of the Axis powers tend to control media. They tended to censor books or change the given information that might be used against the government. Basically the bourgeoisie were making the lower classes blind of reality After: Like in most dictatorships, the rulers of the Axis powers tended to control the media. They censored books or changed the given information that might be used against the government. Basically the bourgeoisie were making the lower classes blind to reality
5 :
World War I was an event mainly produced by Imperialism, and Nationalism. The prior is the ambition of power and property. The latter is respect for ones country, and is also known as Patriotism. These sentiments were most felt in Europe where the social classes first started to reveal a balanced social structure, since it was divided into upper(aristocracy) and lower classes. A supporter of these facts was Rosa Luxemburg, a German Marxist and revolutionary for the Social Democratic Party of this period. Luxemburg strongly supported the labor communities in her pamphlet “The Junius,” by encouraging them to fight for their rights and opportunities, and to flourish economically. She wanted the proletarians to be treated decently and not become exploited as “modern slaves.” But, because of their traditional beliefs and the partisanship of their country, the working class did not collaborate for their own benefits. As a whole, Luxemburg was against WWI not only because of the causes but also of its effects, such as the endless physical and economic destruction of the territories affected as well. According to Luxemburg, the Bourgeoisie society went over its limits. It system was not confidential because their members were the first ones giving false information to the public. Like in most dictatorships, the rulers tend to control media. They tend to censor books or change the given information that might testify against the government. Basically the bourgeoisie were making the lower classes blind from reality.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Please proof-read this essay

Please proof-read this essay?
During the 20th Century man had grown so intelligent and greedy that we started the single largest war man has ever witnessed, The Second World War. It killed almost 52 million people and left almost all of Europe destroyed. The single event that sparked it was Hitler’s greed for power and conquest. By 1939 Austria and Czechoslovakia had fallen into his hands and on September 1st 1939 he attacked Poland and then the following year he took France, Belgium, Luxemburg, Holland, Denmark and Norway. Then on June 22 1941 he attacked the Soviet Union. When his entail attack “Operation Barbarossa” failed he launched “Fall Blau” which sparked the largest single battle in history, the Battle of Stalingrad and turned the tide of the war and stopped Hitler from grabbing a hold of the USSR. In the summer of 1941 the German Whermacht was advancing with staggering speed though the Soviet landscape. The German spearhead groups called “Armee Gruppe” advanced and encircled millions of men. (Stalingrad 2) By October the Germans reached the outskirts of Moscow, the capital of the Soviet Union. Just as the Germans get ready to encircle the Capital, winter sets in; the temperature drops as much as 30 Celsius in a day! By this time the Soviets have lost over 70 million people, 10 million pounds of metal ore, and over 800 million pounds of bread!(Order 227 1) Still on December 5th Stalin orders an offensive to push back the German army. By February 1942 the Germans hold the front stable but are pushed back ~100 KM from Moscow. (Stalingrad – the … 1) When Hitler realized that he could not take Moscow he started planning the next major offensive for 1942. By the time the Germans stopped the offensive for the winter Hitler had the final bugs worked out. When Hitler tells his generals they are outraged and think that an offence on Moscow would throw the Soviets into civil war and they would give up soon after. Hitler strongly disagrees with this and thinks that he will pay too many casualties for not a large reward. (Operation Blue 1) The plan for “Fall Blau” called for “Heeresgruppe Sud” to use the doctrine of Blitzkrieg (or lighting war) to overrun Soviet positions and reach the cities of Buka and Stalingrad. Buka was an extremely important position because it produced over 50 percent of the soviet oil and the Germans by this time realized that they would need more and more oil to support their Panzer divisions. (Operation Blue 1) In the middle of July the German armies advanced, as the 6th and 4th panzer armies established positions on the Don, at the same time Italian, Hungarian and Romanian armies occupied the beaches to prevent the soviets from counter attacking. Mean while the German 17th army advanced into the Cossacks along with the 1st Panzer army. (Operation Blue 1) By October of 1942 the Hungarian, Romania and Italian expeditionary forces were holding the Don from a possible Soviet counter attack, the German 6th army had entered Stalingrad and elements of the 4th panzer army where ordered to hold the line and never to leave Stalingrad. When Hitler sees how well the 4th and 6th armies are doing he orders elements of the 4th panzer army to move down to the south to support the German offensive. A week later for a strange reason Hitler takes personal command of “Heeresgruppe Sud” and splits it up into two different blocks called, “Heeresgruppe Sud-A and Sud-B” This way he believes that the units will be more mobile and will be able to strike from different directions. Soon he thinks his plan is working so e pulls back the whole 4th panzer army to the north in to Stalingrad while the Romania and Italian troops cover the flanks. (Operation Blue 2) Hitler, by this time, thinks his operation is a great success and takes the Soviets by surprise. He believes that it’s impossible for the Soviets to launch an offensive, but he is wrong. He did not know the Soviets secret weapon, massive reserve troops. Stalin calls down over 100 divisions from all over the Soviet Union, from Moscow, to the Far East defense force. This sets motion to the great battle of Stalingrad. (Walter 31) As the small isolated pockets hold Stalingrad the German air force attacks almost every building in the city down to the ground. The Russians hold out fiercely and try offensive operation to break though the small pockets but they don’t know the trouble brewing to the north of them. The Soviets mass great amount of intelligent and figure that the Romanians have low morale and are supplies with poor weapons, so they chose their target. Then in November the Germans are taken by surprise when they learn they are about to be encircled. German generals pled for the 6th and 4th armies to be pulled out but Hitler insists they stay. (Germans Defeated at … 2) By this time Herman Goring has convinced Hitler that he can supply the whole army daily if he gets the planes and the manpower. Soon massive amounts of both the Luftwaffe and the Red Air Force are moved in and around Stalingrad. (Germans Defeated at … 1) Then the full encirclement is complete and over 200,000 thousand men are encircled in Stalingrad. They defend the city fiercely for every foot of the city. (Stalingrad the fateful… 3) The German defensive is so well organized that the standard living time for a soviet soldier that is send in Stalingrad is under 12 hours! Soon by the end of the battle for every German dead there were 8 Russians that died. By January the Russians where gaining ground quickly and the German armies where poorly supplies because of the massive amount of Russian aircraft that shot over 600 transport planes with lots of cargo. (Wehrmacht Slaughtered 1) While the airplanes where being shot down like ducks in a cage the troops on the ground were fighting in a city of ruin. Over 80 percent of the city was destroyed by the German air force. Also the few tanks that where left could do little to support the defense of the city. As many of them had to maneuver around corners and where shot by Russian infantry easily. The Soviet army found it very hard to control sectors therefore this is where new soviet doctrines appeared. Generals used the tactic of mass defense where they would stash people on the front line and leave few if any reserve troops. But this did not work as well as though it would because when the Russians overran the Germans and advanced the Germans would pick up their weapons and start attacking from behind. (Stalingrad 8) By 1943 the Army size of 200,000 was sunk down to less than 90,000. When Hitler announced that Paules would be promoted to Field General he declined and the next day surrendered all his men and the battle was won.(World War Two 1942 – 1943 3) Even though the Germans only took 110,000 deaths in the encirclements the soviets had a staggering one million deaths. By the summer the Russians had fully recovered and advanced to the Don River. (Stalingrad 10) The retreat to the Don was a hard one for the German soldiers. After Rock stock was taken the Whermacht was forced to retreat back to the mainland and give up the offensive, if they stayed they would have endangered an encirclement of over 1 million men. During the Soviet offensive in the summer is where the Germans scored their last victories in hopes of distracting the Russians while the armies moved across the rivers and took up defensive positions.(Germany Defeated at … 3-4) During this horrible war over 50 million people died and 18 million of them where from the Soviet Union. This shows us how violent we are as people and how far we will go for greed and power.
Homework Help - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
OMG...
2 :
replace "man" with people or human beings
3 :
One overall comment: watch your verb tenses. Sometimes you use the present tense - "Hitler sees" - and sometimes you use the past - "the city was destroyed." It should all be in the past tense.
4 :
DAMMMMMNNNNNNN!!!! u better ace this. ( u spelled 'were' wrong in the freakin tenth paragraph)