I'm not even going to waste time telling you about what the book is about besides the fact that the main character is a runway model who deals with social anxiety issues. This is only the first chapter, so no plot is revealed, just setups which you won't know about. Tell me if this chapter hooks or doesn't hook you in and if it's confusing to you or not, and also changes I should make. Thanks! Chapter 1 - The Art of Tea and Other Nonsensical Things My stepmother is a tea expert. She makes it into some sort of an art, pouring in enough tea, sugar, honey, and hot water, daintily taking sips, to make sure it’s just right. She knows every type, blend, flavor, origin, scent, and color of certain teas, keeping a collection in her kitchen large enough to fill up a refrigerator. She knows which tea strengths and mixtures work and doesn’t work, the differences between tea types, and every rule of tea etiquette. The second her guests drink up the tea, she’s there automatically refilling each cup. Tea is her delicate specialty, something she takes the time to perfect with adequate measures and a slight intensity revealed on her face with the furrowing of her eyebrows and the frown on her thin, lipstick-slathered lips. Today, she took exactly six and a half minutes preparing the tea for just the two of us. That meant six and a half minutes sitting in her parlor with only silence filling between us as a growing, palpable thing. I watched as she wrapped her slender fingers on the ivory handle of the small teapot and gently poured red tea into our tiny teacups. The intensity on her face faded as she brought the steaming hot teacup to her lips and quietly drank nearly all of it in one, ladylike sip. That’s another talent she has, drinking extremely hot tea without a flinch or care. “Darling,†she purred lightly. “I’m so glad you could make it today.†“Oh, of course. It’s no problem,†I replied. It really wasn’t. I was expected to stay in Luxembourg for two days, so visiting my stepmother is considered on the way. She and my father, and their two daughters, live east of Luxembourg City in a glamorous mansion too big for the four of them. “Oh, good. Now, how are you? How is the modeling?†“I’m doing well,†I said, as I gingerly took a sip of my tea. “And modeling is fine. I’m excited for this week.†Today was the beginning of International Fashion Week in Benelux, starting with Luxembourg City, then Brussels, and ending with Amsterdam. Claire, my stepmother, beamed. “Lovely. And you have the tickets, yes?†Ah, yes. The reason I was here in the first place. I opened my purse and pulled out four tickets with a golden VIP emblems. “These weren’t easy to get, but I managed to pull a few strings. These are second row seats, I hope you don’t mind.†“No, not at all!†Claire’s pale, ice-blue eyes lit up with delight as I handed her the tickets. “Thank you so much, darling. The girls will be thrilled! I can’t wait to surprise them.†Before I could reply, my stepmother was already moving on. “Now, Keira,†she began. “Tell me, do you have a boyfriend?†With that one simple question, I knew what Claire was up to. I have given her something, which, I might add, was nearly impossible to obtain. Now she thinks, while I’m still here, hey, why not try to get something else of me, too? Especially before I leave? Ever since my career began to rise two years ago, Claire went from ignoring and dismissing me to adoring me and finding every opportunity to invite me to her exclusive clubs and get things out of me. Most times I can find an excuse to avoid her, but occasionally I’d give in because I felt sorry for her or my dad. “Not right now, no,†I answered. “Hmm, yes, that’s what I thought. Well, the ladies have heard so much about you and would really like to meet you. One of the ladies, dear Carina, has a gorgeous son. He’s twenty-five and she wants to introduce you to him at a cocktail party tomorrow evening.†Panic briefly rose and fell within my chest. “Uh, actually…†Claire whipped out her iPhone. “Here,†she said, pulling up a picture and showing it to me. “This is Stefan.†The photo showed a woman around Claire’s age with frosted blonde hair, too much pink lipstick, and a face injected with lots of Botox. Her arm was wrapped around a tall, blonde-haired guy wearing a black V-neck shirt and dark Diesel jeans. He was cute. However, he looked like he just walked out of that closet he was standing in front of. “Sorry, but I don’t think I’m what he’s looking for.†“Oh, Keira, don’t be silly! I know you’re busy, but you don’t have a show tomorrow night, so it would mean the world to me if you came. And of course, the ladies…†The ladies. Always the ladies. Claire belongs to an elite circle of rich, wealthy women who are so bored with their days as trophy wives that they meet together for wine or tea, play cards, gossip, and most importantly, have an unspoken, unofficial competition with each other, comparing themselves, their husbands, and of course, their successful, accomplished, beautiful, absolutely perfect kids. I sighed, thinking it over, actually giving this consideration. Tomorrow, I had a short show from four o’clock to seven. There would be an after party that night, afterwards. I didn’t particularly care for those parties. Yet I didn’t like awkward cocktail parties either. The last option would be safest, simply staying at the hotel room ordering room service and watching television. Don’t pick the safe choice, I reminded myself firmly. I needed to get out of that habit. “I’m free that night,†I tried to say brightly. Claire stopped her babbling about her ladies, looking caught off-guard and relieved at the same time. “Really? So you would come?†I nodded. “So, how will I be getting there?†“Yes, meet me at Le Royal Hotel at eight o’clock. Mr. Wiltshire will have his car. The party is in the penthouse, and ends at one o’clock.†“Great. That’s just perfect." “Good, that’s settled,†Claire said briskly, as she returned to her usual manner now that she’s got what she wanted, and downed another steaming hot tea like a shot. “Now, are you going to finish your damn tea or are you just going to wait until it’s freezing cold?â€
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1 :
WOW! You had me on the first line. That was well written, humorous, and overall a good read. You entertained me on the first paragraph all the way through. But just one tip, I read a lot of unnecessary things you could consider cutting out. Besides that, I loved it!
2 :
yeah its good, except try not to refer to particular companies i.e. iPhone and Diesel jeans, rather describe the jeans themselves, if you were attempting to form an image in the readers head of the boy. its relatively easy to read, i already have an impression of disliking the tea making wierdo. good characterisation. id love to see where this book heads for you, pm me if you ever end up completing it, ill read it for you :)
